Me Before You (Convergence) pt. 1

I’d like to think I’ve always had a certain vision - the kind that plays scenes in your head with a perfected cinematic twist.

Yeah, well, when you’ve never had formal editing training or handled a camera, it doesn’t just happen like that. At least not for me.

Going into J2150, I was wildly excited - my chance to implement my vision was finally here. Even though my multimedia experience was limited to a few shitty videos I made for my sorority and some of those high school projects you think are the best thing ever at the time, I was convinced my several years of photography experience would serve me well. And to some extent it did.

When collecting b-roll I was able to recognize visually appealing angles and subjects. I tried to incorporate motion into typically still scenes.

Little did I realize, that skill in no way translated to good video. I still knew next to nothing about editing, producing decent sound, sequencing or general flow. Not that I’m perfect at it now, but it was BAD.

Of course, then, I didn't’ know that. Especially, when it came to my final project.

Since the Fall of 2015 I’d closely followed the coverage and activities of Concerned Student 1950. I took photos the day of Tim Wolfe’s resignation and saw Spike Lee’s documentary during the only time the full version was publicly shown.

I knew before the semester started that I needed to do something on the topic. I couldn't pinpoint exactly why, but it brought out a fire in me - one I hadn’t felt in quite a while. Simply put, it compelled me to do something. I had to.

By the time our final projects rolled around, my teacher already knew what I wanted to do - I hadn’t shut up about it all semester. He paired me up with a sophomore (I was a freshman at the time) that had a similar urge for the topic. To be honest, I had never really liked working with other people (also an interesting characteristic coming into a solely teamwork-driven reporting class like 4804), but I thought she would be a perfect fit.

From there we had about three weeks before our deadline. And for three weeks I grinded out interviews, b roll and photos.

Then came the real challenge.

Our deadline was Thursday and by the time we finished all of our necessary interviews, it was the Sunday before. I insisted to do the video almost entirely by myself because I’m just that difficult.

We knew we had enough for a longer piece. We originally thought it would be about seven or eight minutes. As I started sifting through all of the material we had gathered, I realized I couldn't condense it. And that was the beginning of the end for me.

I knew the piece would end up being about double the length of what we originally thought. But that was okay. The topic was worth it. I had this overwhelming sense that I had to do these people, this issue, this institutional inequality, justice.

So I put my head down and got to work sorting and editing - for four days - straight. I still don’t know how I did it, but with the exceptions of a couple one hour naps here and there, I didn’t sleep for four days straight. Even more surprising, I did so without any drugs (I swear) and minimal caffeine.

Looking back on that experience, I laugh. I laugh at the fact that if I would've had any prior knowledge of scripting or story boxing, those excessive all nighters and the loss of my sanity wouldn't have been necessary. But, at the time, my extensive editing process seemed like the only way.

As for the final product, I still didn’t finish in time. I was so distraught when we presented an incomplete piece that Thursday. I couldn’t believe I had spent that much time on something I wasn’t proud of it - a negative reaction that continues to stick with me.

But I didn’t quit. I took a weeklong break for my other finals then started back up with editing when I went home for summer break.

When I finally posted it to Youtube and on Facebook for my friends to see, was it everything I wanted? No. But it was to a point I was happy with.

Of course looking back now, after a semester with formal audio and video training, watching the piece makes me cringe at the technical details. But I like to think of it as a marker for how far I’ve come.

I don't think I will ever be fully satisfied with any work I do. As sad as that is to some people, I take it as motivation to constantly improve and never settle. It stops me from comparing my work to others because I know that will only set me back further.

As that goes, I am nowhere near where I want to be with my visual storytelling skills. But with each story, I get closer. I’ve changed my mindset to focus on the process more than the final result in some senses. And that has done wonders for my attitude and academic anxiety.

Though I’m not on the level I would like, that’s okay. I’m one step closer than the day before.

And compared to this time last year? Hey, at least I know about the wonders of scripting and how much sleep it saves during postproduction.

I have yet to master that either, but until I do, I’ll keep my head down and keep typing.